A Day In The Life

 I know it doesnt hurt you as much as it hurts me. I know you never felt the same and I know you never will. I know its for the best but its gonna hurt for a while. Of course im hear broken, of course im gonna cry, and of course and a little mad but I know everything will be ok. This was the longest relationship I have ever had, i know thats sad, but I always get so annoyed and bored with people but you I didnt. Goodbye Seattle, Goodbye Raves, Goodbye Seattle Friends you were all awesome. 




now that the weekend's upon us i've got to be honest so how do you want it?
my words in a sonnet
i've been avoiding you lately i don't want you to hate me, i know i am supposed to but i don't think i can trust you
so please don't lead me to believe we never had a chance
say aloud now that i'm sleep the secrets your keeping
try as hard as i may try, your always bored by friday night
happiness was not very likely, your not very likely
every once in awhile i need a shot of your smile
i just need to believe we gave this an honest chance
all i want is to believe we gave it all we had
another weekend is over of counting clovers 
with grass stains on my knees i need to find one with four leafs 
you know i'm not superstitious, but it helps me get through this
now its time to be honest, but its such a long list
i just need to believe we gave this an honest chance 
all i want is to believe we gave it all we had 



I kinda hope you change your mind

 1. I�ve smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it�s cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don�t we just cuddle? :biggrin:
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It�s more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there�s a tower in Italy like that. :biggrin:
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4?� bigger.
13. It�s ok, we�ll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there�s an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense. :biggrin: LMAO
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it�ll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick. :biggrin: ROFL
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn�t know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won�t take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting. :biggrin:
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don�t we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn�t know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it�s hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I�ll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It�s a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you�re supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where�s the rest of it?

 I really wish we werent so far apart in age. It is really starting to hurt. Im scared that we are going to lose eachother all because of age. And I dont know what to do. He gets mad at me when I act like a kid... but guess what sean I AM A KID. I am fucking 9+ years younger than you. Maybe we are being stupid. Maybe this isnt right. But the last thing I wanna do is break up... I can't handle that. Baby I love you but I am scared. Maybe im over reacting. I dont really know. I am just not at all ok...I need help.

Sean: You have no idea.... Seriously. You are like one of the only good things that happened for me this year. And you are helping with so much more than you probably know. I am really happy that I met you and that I can call you mine. I really do hope that we last. But I really hate how I only see you on the weekends. You are so special to me. And if I ever hurt you , I will just be hurting myself. I love you baby. I really really do. So please stay with me because I really need you.


Alex: Word. Herro sex toast ;D. Im glad we got over the stupid thing when I first met you. Because now  you are definantly one of my best friends. I tell you like everything and I trust you a lot. And you have been there for me when I have really needed you and it makes me so happy that I have someone like you. I really hope we stay friends for a long time <3


TJ: Well you are just a fag. Just kidding . I love you sweetie. You are a total dork but all my friends are and you are also one of my best friends and I am really happy. I especially love how we talk to eachother. Its awesome. I love you sausage haha >.< So suck my cock you fucking bitch cunt. ;D

 I am so lost right now it sucks. I know what I need to be doing but I just don't do it.... I am to busy screwing around and I regret it but I just can not stop. I really do not know how to fix this. I need some kind of help I guess. Life seems to keep on getting harder and harder for me. Like the only good thing that has happened to me in the past couple months or pretty much year is my boyfriend Sean and meeting Alex. I love my baby boy so much he is amazing and makes me so happy. But I need more than that I need something that will get me going on what I should be doing. Sometimes I wonder if he is just to much of distraction for me right now and maybe not a good thing. But then at the same time he makes me feel so fucking amazing and I really do love him. I can't leave him v.v I shouldn't even have thought about anything like that . I am so confused. I just do not know anymore. ahhhh >.<